A real horrorshow

You do not know the stuff of nightmares until you've done surgery.

The setting here is an operating room: a poor, unfortunate gentleman with rectal cancer. It's too close to the end to make anything workable for an asshole, so the whole thing has to come out. The procedure, if you're interested, is an abomino-perineal resection, which basically means "we cut you in two places, one of which you're really not going to be happy about."

The upper incision is straightforward stuff; cut open the abdomen, divide the bowel, close off a few blood vessels and away you go. The lower incision involves spreading this poor bastard's legs apart, and cutting a hole about the diameter of a compact disc centred on his anus. Core that whole thing out until you reach the abdomen, at which point you meet up with the upper surgeon's hands. Oh, be sure to have the student standing behind the ass guy for maximum impact.

At this point, you've essentially got a sixteen-inch drilling sample, which you then have to remove from the patient. The easiest way to do this, of course, is to PULL IT ALL OUT THROUGH THE ASS. The whole mass is delivered like some horror-film version of childbirth, leaving a gaping cavity (which is, in fact, dilated at least 10 centimetres; time to push!). You can see daylight streaming in from the abdominal cut.

Closing up is pretty straightforward; the upper guy connects what's left of the colon to a permanent colostomy bag - no asshole anymore for you, sir! - and the lower guy just puts in a fuckload of stitches, leaving the patient a smooth plane like some rectal castrato.

At this point, the student will wish to go wash their eyes out with bleach. Let them.