He can die after I've had my coffee
Those of you in the health care field may be familiar with the concept of "report", which is where nurses sign over care of their patients. This is, of course, supposed to be put off for a bit in the event of an emergency, but some nurses seem to look at it as a sacred time that brooks no interruption. Seriously, I'm sure more people die in those fifteen minutes when the nurses are shut in that little room...
Also, I don't know why "report" never takes an article. It's always just "report," or "in report." Like it's a city. Report, Alberta, population 8 angry nurses.
Which led to this conversation yesterday:
ME: Hey, could you -
NURSE 1: WE'RE IN REPORT.
ME: I know, but -
NURSE 2: Look, my shift is over and I just want to sign out and go home.
ME: Yes, I'm sorry, but -
NURSE 1: Come back in five minutes.
ME: THIS MAN IS HAVING A HEART ATTACK. HE IS IN THE PROCESS OF DYING.
NURSE 1: (sighs, rolls eyes) All right, all right...
I mean, fuck. Sometimes things can't wait for you to finish report, or finish your break. This isn't paperwork. This isn't a phone call you can put off until you've had your smoke. This is someone's life; and if he's having a heart attack "time is heart" as the saying goes.
This isn't to say that the vast majority of nurses aren't dedicated, caring and hardworking. But some seem to see their career as a shit job rather than a vocation, and that's when you run into trouble and dead patients.
Oh, the guy totally wasn't having a heart attack. But when you're having "9/10 crushing chest pain," best not to take chances, eh? So anyways, that's why I'm now pretty sure I'm known as "that asshole resident." Whoops.