great balls of fire
Patient: Hi, doc. I've been ejaculating blood for the past week.
Me: Sweet zombie Jesus. I mean, any other symptoms?
Patient: Well, my left testicle has seemed really enlarged and sore lately.
It is; twice the size of his left, in fact.
Me: Yeah, that's probably what's causing the blood-jizz. This can be caused by chlamydia or gonorrhea; so, uh, any affairs lately?
Patient: Absolutely not! But I have been having some pretty active sex lately. I thought I'd injured myself.
Me: *chuckling* No, that's just an infection. We'll clear that right up. But seriously, if you've been going hard enough that you thought you fucked your balls off, good work.
Patient: Thanks, doc.