Cross-Canada Road Trip Day 2: Wow, That's A Lot of Trees

July 6, 2004

I take back what I said yesterday about Saskatchewan being boring: It's got nothing on northern Ontario. At least there's people in Saskatchewan. The stretch of highway between Winnipeg and Thunder Bay is bordered by a featureless wall of spruce, poplar, and birch. That's it. For seven hours. Nothing else.

Of course, I'd probably be in a better state of mind about the trip if I hadn't spent most of it stuck behind assholes who thought it'd be a great idea to do 75 on the fucking HIGHWAY. I've got six cylinders of Detroit steel* here, people! Let me use them! At least give me a passing lane more than every fifty clicks! This stretch of ass gets a D-.

*steel may actually be from Oshawa.**
**steel may actually be some kind of aluminum-containing alloy.

The landscape gets a lot better once you hit the shore of Lake Superior, though. I stopped at the wonderfully-named Kakabeka (hee hee) Falls, and took a random turnoff at Ahma- er, Ahunt- er, Awaskawinaweekawoona Gorge. I don't know, it started with "A." It was next to Terrace Bay. Don't judge me. In any case, it was nice and I have good pictures but have no idea how to host them on blogspot. And the stretch of highway between Thunder Bay and White River gets a big B+ from me, with all its passing lanes and hills that you can pretend you're on a rollercoaster on. But not too much, because you don't want to be taking your hands off the wheel when you're passing semis. Trust me on this.

I didn't make it to Sault Ste. Marie, like I'd been planning. Hell, I didn't even make it to Wawa. I made it to White River, 300 km up the road from the Soo. Why? The moose came out. Mooses. Meese. Whatever the plural is, they're fuck you up bad if you hit them, since their legs are exactly the right length for the nose of your car to take them out and launch a thousand pounds of angry, thrashing woodland critter into your lap. You think your airbag's gonna stop that?

In any case, it got dark and rainy and full of moose and I had to stop. Unfortunately, all three motels in White River were full, but one of the owners was nice enough to rent me a trailer for forty bucks. Which is why I'm writing this in an RV that smells like chemical toilet.